Holiday Etiquette for Dogs

I got this from an old friend a few years ago who retired and now lives on the Isle of Wight in the UK. If you read it carefully you may pick up the slight British accent along with the spelling. Since it is dog related and so darn cute I'm going to make it an annual addition to my Christmas page.

Holiday Etiquette for Dogs

            1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time.
            They may appear to be more stressed out than usual and will appreciate your long sloppy kisses.
            
            2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume all the gifts are yours.
            
            3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you.
            They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of  seeing how you look with fake antlers.
            
            4. They may bring a large tree into your house and set it up in a prominent place, most likely where you are use to laying. They cover it up with lights and decorations. Bizarre as  this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know.
            *don't pee on the tree
            *don't drink the water from the container that holds the tree.
            *mind your tail (if you have one) when you're near the tree.
            *if there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open.
            *don't chew on the cords that runs from the funny looking hole in the wall to the tree.
            
            5. Your humans might invite lots of strangers to visit your home during this season. These parties can be lots of fun but they also call for some discretion on your part.
            *not all strangers appreciate your loving nature and your sloppy wet kisses.
            *don't eat from the buffet table. (there'll be plenty of crumbs on the floor to look for)
            *beg for goodies subtly.. a raised paw and sad eyes almost always works.
            *be pleasant when the strangers sit in your spot on the sofa.
            *don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.
            
            6. Likewise, your humans might take you visiting- here your season manners will also be important.
            *observe all the rules in #4 for trees in other human's houses.
            *respect the territory of other animals especially if they're wearing antlers.
            *tolerate the little humans - they call them children and other funny names
            *turn on your cuteness and charm big time.
            
            7. A big man with a white beard and dressed in red, and a  very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!!
            
            8. and please don't take the baby out of the manger - it's not really a toy - and it might be the most important part of this human ritual
            
            8. the best thing is that before you know it all this nonsense will be over and done with. Tomorrow you'll have your favourite comfy spot back,  on the couch and maybe allowed back on the bed, where'll you'll get lots of human hugs and you can shower them with all your adoring sloppy wet kisses.
            
            lots of love and hugs
            'Auntie' Beryl